Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Stars vs. Stripes

Last week was the Congressional baseball game where Democrats and Republicans battled on the field for charity. I have an idea. Next year I'd like to see bipartisan teams. Instead of blue Democrats vs. red Republicans, let's have the Stars vs. the Stripes. One team composed of congressmen from states west of the Mississippi, the other team from states east of the Mississippi. This would be a symbolic gesture where Congress can put country ahead of party.

I know, wishful thinking. Don't bother with the cynical comments.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

If Only

TO:            Caliphate Public Relations Department

FROM:      Caliphate Legal Department

RE:            New Policies and Procedures

To avoid legal repercussions or other unintended  consequences of the Islamic State's public communications, the Legal department has developed the following policies and procedures that must be followed before engaging in any public communications, whether through social or traditional media.

Only factual statements that can be independently confirmed will be considered "official" statements.

All public communications, to include photos, images, video, and audio must abide by international copyright laws and accessibility guidelines.

To ensure that public communications do not offend the target audience or secondary audiences, a rigorous clearance process must be observed. It is necessary to clear all communications with every bureau, agency, or office that might have a stake in the subject matter. We realize this may mean that provocative or controversial messages may end up watered down to the point of becoming bland and meaningless.

Be careful not to violate the terms and conditions of the online platforms used to disseminate public communications. The enemy is not afraid to use lawyers indiscriminately.

Do not use the term "coalition." Doing so legitimizes the enemy. An interagency working group is currently evaluating pejorative names to use instead. We expect final resolution on this matter in 6-8 months.

Thank you for your cooperation.