Crawl, Walk, Run

Five weeks into language training and I'm feeling pretty good. Surprisingly good. I know I'll hit a wall soon, but for now I'm enjoying learning a new language. This is my third language training at FSI. The pain and struggle of the first two have led to a self-awareness that benefits me tremendously this time around. A few things I've learned that are helping me get through the first two months:

I try to speak the way a 5 year old would. If I can forget that I'm an intelligent, well-educated 40-something year old woman, it takes the sting out of the early weeks of language training. It's much easier to talk about a news story the way a 5 year old would talk about it, than to try to talk about the news the way an educated adult would.

I'm a very literal person and I tend to say only what I mean to say. But nobody cares about what I actually did over the weekend. So instead of trying to say what I really *want* to say, I practice saying what I *can* say, even if it means making stuff up.

I am impatient by nature and a perfectionist - two things that may make for a good Foreign Service Officer, but make for a terrible language student. I know now that during the first few weeks, I'm supposed to be awful. I will get better.

I cannot go directly to a 3/3 level of proficiency, no matter how many flashcards I memorize or how much grammar I study. You have to get to a 1/1 before you can get to a 2/2. As much as it pains me to say it - Aim low (at least for now)!

And in my most profound bit of self-analysis, I understand that listening comprehension is the last thing that comes to me, long after writing, speaking, and reading. So there's no point stressing out now when I watch the news clips on YouTube and cannot understand anything.

Naturally, this advice doesn't hold true at the end of language training. At some point, I will have to be able to say what I *want* to say. I can't very well change U.S. policy to suit my language proficiency. But for now, I'll stick with crawling.

Language Students

You know a Foreign Service officer is in language training when...

* She carries flash cards with her wherever she goes.

* She gets a rush buying colored index cards and Sharpie pens.

* She appears to be mumbling to herself all the time.

* There are sticky notes with foreign words plastered over everything in her apartment.

* She often stares into space with a glassy-eyed expression while silently conjugating verbs or declining nouns and adjectives in her head.

* She often swears like a sailor when she fails to successfully conjugate verbs or decline nouns and adjectives in her head.

* As her proficiency in the foreign language improves, her proficiency in English... goes badder.

* She goes to bed at 9:00 pm in order to get to class on time at 7:40 am.

and you know the dreaded language test is approaching when...

* She seriously considers replacing her morning tea with a strong screwdriver.

* She spends an unusual amount of time developing sophisticated ideas about counterterrorism, entrepreneurship, and trade agreements.

Best of luck to all those in language training!

Pass(port) it Forward

It's unusual for incompetence to result in something beneficial. But it actually happened to me. At the State Department, of all places.

My diplomatic passport was set to expire in a few months. I submitting an application for a new one; however, the woman at the window told me, in lieu of my travel orders, my HR Officer would have to submit a form on my behalf. I emailed my HRO (after spending considerable time tracking down who my HRO is supposed to be). She replied that because I will be in training for a year, I don't need a diplomatic passport. Request denied.

I relayed this information to the passport office and requested they return my soon-to-expire passport and cancel my application. They emailed me to confirm that's what I wanted to do. Yes, I assured them. A few days later I went to the passport office to pick up my old passport. In the envelope was my old passport - cancelled. And a brand new passport good for 5 years. Huzzah! Asking no questions, I quickly grabbed the passports and walked out.

Perhaps it wasn't incompetence that led to my getting a new passport without all the "required" documentation. Part of me would like to think a civil servant working in a windowless room in some unknown annex building took pity on a stranger with incomplete paperwork.

I know some State people whose entire worldview would collapse in on itself if they discovered that the standard forms we are taught to revere don't, in fact, hold magical powers. 

Stars vs. Stripes

Last week was the Congressional baseball game where Democrats and Republicans battled on the field for charity. I have an idea. Next year I'd like to see bipartisan teams. Instead of blue Democrats vs. red Republicans, let's have the Stars vs. the Stripes. One team composed of congressmen from states west of the Mississippi, the other team from states east of the Mississippi. This would be a symbolic gesture where Congress can put country ahead of party.

I know, wishful thinking. Don't bother with the cynical comments.