My Whole Life is an Unaccompanied Tour

Lately I've been a source of information to prospective Foreign Service Officers who have found me at this blog or through other social media. One of the questions I get, particularly from the young women, is, "What's it like as a single female FSO?" The short, sweet answer is, "It's not for everyone."

There's a joke in the Foreign Service that goes something like this: If you want to know where a male FSO's first overseas post was, look at his wife, if you want to know where a female FSO's first overseas post was, look at her furniture. 

I know enough female FSOs who have found husbands abroad to dispel that myth. But I think the foreign service lifestyle is harder for single women than for single men. And "single issues" are not just about dating. I cannot tell you how many post reports I've read where "great post for singles" meant "great post for single guys to pick up local girls in bars." 

I'd be curious to know how many FSOs are single and compare that against the resources offered specifically for them. I took the "Single in the FS" seminar at FSI before heading out on my first overseas tour; the only thing I remember is that we were told we had to report our romantic relationships to the RSO. As if the dating scene is the only concern singles have overseas. They don't teach you how to expand your circle of friends outside of the embassy. They don't train CLOs on the special needs of singles (most CLOs are spouses and therefore organize events that appeal to other spouses and families). And they don't teach you how to handle the tough times alone. I think there are a number of single FSOs who self-medicate when they don't have anyone to talk to.

One of the nice things about serving in Kabul, and previously in Baghdad, is that everyone here is temporarily single and living the unaccompanied life. For a single FSO who usually has to plan social activities around her friends' kids' schedule, it's great! In Kabul, the babysitter doesn't cancel at the last minute, visiting in-laws don't disrupt your regular girls night out, and people are always up for a drink after work. 

This career is - mostly - fulfilling and has given me a lot of experiences I would not otherwise have had.  I'm grateful for that. But it's also a demanding lifestyle and doing it by myself can be tiring sometimes. There have been times when I wished I had a trailing spouse (or wished I WAS a trailing spouse) instead of being the one on whose shoulders everything falls.

I wonder what would happen if single FSOs organized themselves.

What Would Socrates Do?

Life at Embassy Kabul is so bizarre that it's best not to try to make it seem normal. Except I'm still trying. I recently bought two small pieces of furniture at the mini-bazaar held on the compound once a week: a small end table and a footstool. Both are nice pieces and do a lot to make my hooch feel less like a storage container. But it is still a storage container.

I'm in a constant philosophical struggle between resignation and delusion. Should I resign myself to the fact that I live in a storage container and that life here is what it is; or should I delude myself into thinking I can make my storage container, ergo my life here, better than it is.

I usually end up resigning myself to reality, but somewhat comforted by the fact that this job is teaching me things I wouldn't have learned anywhere else. Ooh! That's a good line, I should remember to put that in my EER.

Culinary Diplomacy Afghan Style

Recently the State Department launched a new culinary diplomacy initiative. Embassy Kabul launched its own version of culinary diplomacy this week when embassy employees participated in the Afghan version of Iron Chef. Our brave amateur chefs went head to head with a professional Afghan chef using the secret ingredient - turnip!

The American chefs working hard while the camera crew does its best to distract them.
 Note the product placement items in the foreground.

Both teams had to create a soup, a main dish, and a dessert within 60 minutes using the secret ingredient. The American team did very well and demonstrated some of the creativity of American cooking. When it came time to taste the dishes, I think the Afghan judges were a little puzzled by some unfamiliar food presented to them. But the American team's pancake dessert with a sweet caramel topping rocked!

Getting ready to present the dishes to the judges.

One of the judges was an FSO from the embassy. He gave his comments in Pashto, which impressed a lot of Afghans sitting around me in the audience (could this be the inspiration for a new FSI language test format?). In the end, the Afghan team had the advantage and won the title of "Golden Chef." Even though the American team lost, I think it was a public diplomacy victory. And I went home with a Golden Chef mug, so it was a good day all around.

Jack Frost Ripping Off My Nose

Jack Frost has moved into Kabul and made himself at home. Seriously, it's cold. I'm one of the fortunate ones because my hooch is upstairs and in the middle, so it's well insulated and doesn't get too cold or damp. My commute to the office and to the DFAC is less than 60 seconds. Same goes for the laundry hooch; however, to do laundry still requires me to bundle up in a hat, gloves, and boots, and carry a bag of laundry down the icy metal staircase of death. But I'm getting hardship and danger pay, so it's all good.

If life here was dull before Jack arrived, it's even worse now. I spend a lot of time in my hooch. And with the arrival of my NetGrocer shipment, I have one less reason to leave my hooch. When I feel especially stir crazy, I force myself to go to the gym (blech). This place needs a coffee shop, or just someplace to hang out.

Happy new year. Let's hope 2013 brings some peace and goodwill.